The Devil Wears Prada (or Banana, if we're being literal)

There's a part of my former self that nags at me from time to time.  It's like the little devil on your shoulder.  Only this devil is wearing a suit and heels, and emphatically checking her BlackBerry.  She only rears her perfectly-coifed head when I'm checking Facebook and see a friend talking about a business trip to a cool, new city...or when I meet someone in Savannah for the first time...or when I hear the generic ring of a BlackBerry (which for the record, I think still causes me to grind my teeth in my sleep.)

This former self creeps into my head and wants me scream out loud, "Hey - I'm not *just* a stay at home mom!  I used to have an AMAZING CAREER!  I'm smart!  Ask me about ME!!"  It can be so distracting.  And from time to time, I let her slip out of the dungeon and all of the sudden, I'm saying ridiculous things in menial conversation with people I hardly know, like:

"Well, I mean, I *did* work in communications at the Big Red Machine for eight years, so I know great writing when I see it."

"Of course I'm on Twitter.  I've been on Twitter since before it was considered mainstream media."  (I believe there's also an eye roll included with this one...and everyone knows I was late to the Twitter game.)

"Sure, I don't mind leading the public relations/communications workgroup for (insert any random community or church project I'm signing up for these days.)  I don't know if I've told you, but *ahem* I used to work in communications.  For eight years.  In a few different capacities."

Self-validation for a working-mom-gone-stay-at-home mom is exhausting.

And the irony of all of this is, I rather enjoy the obscurity of being home with my girls.  I like not having to go to the bathroom with my phone.  I enjoy forgetting what day of the week it is, and being able to cook dinner for my family every night.  And the most awesome-wonderful-amazing-terrific feeling is not having the Sunday night demons before a week I know will grind me up and spit me out. 

Actually, the most awesome-wonderful-amazing-terrific feeling is sleeping in with L&M and watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse on any random day of the week ;)