Thoughts From the Underbelly

I had to laugh at myself today. My belly is so big right now that everything seems to be a struggle. I can't really shave my legs, I can barely sit in a chair without crushing my lungs, and my own mother is disgusted by the looks of my belly button (which is rocking out in full force.) When I was first pregnant, I named the twins The Hornets Nest because they were making me so sick, but now it feels like the Hornets Nest has morphed into a small school bus. My maternity shirts have turned into midrifts and my yoga pants are begging for reprieve. I actually tripped over my dog getting out of the shower last week because I honestly couldn't see him on the ground. That's how I knew I was really in trouble.

Speaking of rude awakenings, I also think I discovered the beginnings of my first stretch mark this week. I can't confirm it at this time because anything past my belly button is unchartered territory these days and I don't think Eddie even knows what a stretch mark looks like. However, after some detective work and a hand mirror, I'm pretty sure that I identified a shiny silver line right underneath my belly button. %&$#! I have been fairly religious with moisturizing the Hornets Nest, so I'm really confused! All of my books say you don't have to use cocoa butter (which seems to be everyone's recommendation, but the smell of it, unfortunately, makes me want to vomit) so I just got into a regular rotation of using Burt's Bees Belly Balm, Vaseline Cocoa Butter Oil, and just plain ol' Lubriderm. Well, wouldn't you know my plan worked right up until 34 weeks when I caught a flash of that pesky little thing in the mirror. Maybe it will go away quietly. Hopefully, he doesn't have anymore friends that plan on making their debut on the Hornets Nest. Needless to say, I'm already stockpiling Strivectin and researching laser surgery.

In other news, my mom has been here since my baby shower last week and has been an absolute Godsend. She has scrubbed my house from top to bottom (it's MOM clean, and I love that), grocery shopped, and helped me get the nursery in working order. I am so thankful for her!