After I told my family the good news, it was time for everyone to be clear on their roles over the next nine months. (Yet another way corporate America has tainted my everyday life.) So, I pulled together this brief email to my family:
Now that I've had a minute to take this all in, I've taken the liberty to pull together a formalized role sort for the next nine months.
Please see your assignments below:
Mom - Director of Crisis Management: responsible for making everything ok, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, including the raging bouts with morning sickness that may be on the horizon. This would also require that you start a file (or a spiral notebook - your speciality) with questions for my doctor.
Dad - Director of Do-Whatever-It-Takes: you should be pretty familiar with this role, Dad, as you've been playing it for about 28 years. Just make it happen....whatever it takes.
Eddie - Director of Primary Care: this is not going to be easy....you are in charge of maintaining my emotional and hormonal balance. Lucky for you, you had years of Army Ranger training.
Steiny - Director of Creative Services: responsible for my hair and makeup, including but not limited to before, during and after birth, with a primary focus on the hours after labor. You may also be required to lend your assistance to name, furniture, and clothing selection.
Bowden - Director of Security: responsible for warding off any possible trespassers from the house and the baby, including pulling overnight watchouts in the baby's room.
Please contact me with any questions regarding your assignment.
Best regards,
Jessi Horne
Seargant at Arms
No comments:
Post a Comment