There was every indiciation that today was going to be a bruiser. L&M woke up at 6:45 because "alligators were scaring them." I had to explain to them that most Seminole fans have had a bad dream or two about those scary-looking kids that call themselves Gators. (Couldn't resist.) Laiten was hunting and pecking in the bathroom about 10 minutes before we were walking out the door, and found mommy's pretty pink razor. She came waltzing into the living room in her beautiful school dress, hair coifed just right in her "bangs-only" ponytail...and a hand bleeding so badly that I thought certainly there was a finger missing. All I could think of was her dripping blood onto her new school shoes or wiping a shmear of blood down the front of her sweet dress. Two soaked towels and three Dora BandAids later (the first two BandAids were not appropriate, as they did not include Boots), we were back in business and sliding into the car just in time to make it to school before the bell.
Believe it or not, the before and during school was actually the easiest part of my day. The girls were excited to march into school (although Maisen was a little nervous) and play with their new friends. The school was full of young, breezy parents dropping off their little ones for the first time. Eddie and I left L&M with the parting words to please be nice to all the kids because mommy and daddy are still making new friends in Savannah, and well...we can't afford for y'all to be hateful preschoolers!
The carpool line at the end of the school day was pretty hilarious. The carpool line is like walking into a party with your mute button on. I've got a ginormous poster board with my kids' names on it in my dash, so do you...let's smile and wave at each other and share menial nonverbal communication queues. If you've ever driven/rode in a Jeep, you know what I'm talking about - you give a little wave that means, "Hey - you're cool, I'm cool - we're in the same club." I was laughing out loud (silently to my new friends) by the end of my 30 minutes.
But it was after lunch and our afternoon nap that things got a little dicey. We had to pick up our dog from the kennel after our long weekend in Tallahassee. We loaded Bowden up into the car and started our trek back home when I noticed (what I thought were) muddy paw prints all over the console. Hmmmm...at the next red light, I looked back and saw them all over the back seat too, as L&M were trading hugs with Bowden and catching up on lost sugars. I caught a glance at B's rear paw and noticed that was indeed NOT mud, but rather...well, you can imagine. Seems we must have ran through someone's 'today's special' on our way out of the kennel and now it was all. over. my. car. And the dog. And quite possibly, the children. No visible signs indicated such on the children, but my mind was crawling with disgust. I pulled over and furiously swept the entire car looking for baby wipes. Not in the back seat, not in trunk, nothing in the glove box. MOTHER OF PEARL, HOW DOES A MOM OF TWINS NOT HAVE A FREAKING WIPE TO HER NAME?!?! So out of sheer desperation, I grabbed the dog's blanket out of the back and begin to furiously scrub anything that would stand still. It was a disaster.
When we pulled into the apartment complex, I dashed inside to grab the dog wash and gloves, and drove everyone down to the car wash. I scrubbed Bowden within an inch of his life and was able to find some Armor-All wipes to make some progress on the interior. (Still couldn't find a mother flippin' baby wipe.) When we got home, I threw the girls into the bathtub and thought seriously about dashing in a capful of Clorox. Since I'm already in the running for Mother of the Year, I bypassed the Clorox, but did decide to use bar soap instead of baby wash because apparently in my fetal mind, bar soap has stronger cleaning qualities.
After I got both girls out of the bathtub and into their fresh jammies, I gave them both a snack and a big girl cup of milk (we're preschoolers now!) I turned to cut myself a rice krispie treat and take a deep breath when I heard Laiten say, "Mommy!! The TV is broken!" And that's when I saw her big girl cup in a puddle of milk...on top of our cable box.
And that's when mommy's brain fried for the day, right along with our cable TV. (I'm breaking out in hives just thinking about it.)
Did I mention that we'll do this all over again tomorrow?
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